Diffusing Verbal Criticism

 

There are 4 different responses to criticism:

  1. Withdrawing
  2. Rationalizing
  3. Counterattacking
  4. Responding non-defensively

There are 5 steps to responding non-defensively:

  1. Listen: Feeling may be buried beneath the spoken words. Listen with an open mind to find out what feelings may be hiding.
  2. Acknowledge: Acknowledging criticism does not mean accepting or agreeing with its content. Avoid sarcasm and instead project sincerity.
  3. Ask questions: You need more information to find deeper issues.
  4. Paraphrase: Use your own words to reflect what the other person is feeling or thinking & provides opportunity for clarification.
  5. Agree with the truth: If the criticism has merit, acknowledge that.

Keep the following in mind:

Remain calm, don't take it personally, use non-verbal listening skills, and show respect for your "opponent."